I've been working on a spiffy log line for H.A.L.F., my speculative sci fi-ish novel that launches in March. For anyone not familiar with a logline, it's a one sentence (short) summary of the big idea of the book. It's the "elevator pitch".
After playing around with it for some time, I've come up with three and would like your opinion. Which of these do you think is the most intriguing? Which one makes you interested to know more? Or have I missed the mark completely?
Please drop a comment below and let me know your honest opinion. And thanks so much for dropping by :-D
1. When a teenager liberates an alien-human hybrid from a government lab, she triggers an inter-stellar war.
2. Three teens become fugitives when they help an alien-human hybrid escape a government lab.
3. While inter-stellar war looms, a teen must liberate the government's top secret weapon or be terminated.
So let me know which is best for you - #1, #2 or #3 - and why :-) Thanks!
Cheers, Desert Girl!
ReplyDeleteI prefer #1 :)
Why an interstellar war? What was said-hybrid up to in that lab? Why was a teen snooping about a, presumably, top-secret lab? Also, "alien" and "government lab" immediately constitute imagery of clandestine, top-clearance, Scully-and-Mulderesque business. Very Hellboy/B.P.R.D. type of scenarios brewing in my noggin.
Salut,
Moi :)
#2 addresses the problems stated by Jennifer. When in doubt, keep it simple. The inter-stellar war is not even close to being explained by the escape of a single alien-hybrid.
ReplyDeleteMarva, thank you so much for your input and ideas. It really helps as I clarify what is important and what is not. Cheers!
DeleteCheers Marva and Miss Natalie :)
ReplyDeleteMy response may have been a tad unclear. My posited questions (Why an interstellar war? What was said-hybrid up to in that lab? Why was a teen snooping about a, presumably, top-secret lab?) are actually meant to show that logline #1 evokes said-questions. I believe it's brilliant! #1 intrigues me; I wonder further about all these ideas. Marva is correct in that "inter-stellar war is not even close to being explained by the escape of a single alien-hybrid". ... ergo, I must read on to learn the explanation :D
Cheers and Apologies for z Confusion ;)
Thank you for your comments and for your clarification, Jennifer. That helps a lot. A logline is meant to intrigue and make the reader want to know more so it's helpful to know that #1 did that for you.
DeleteAs always, thank you for your help!