Manic Monday: Will You Stand on the Shore or Explore the Deep Beneath?

The view under the surface in the Bahamas

I love to go to the beach for vacations - preferably warm, tropical waters. The biggest reason is that I love to snorkel.

Those who witness my snorkeling may chortle under their breath. I must be a sight. With my extremely fair skin, I'm not a bikini-clad, tanned vision in the water. I'm more of a cover-most-of-the-body with a suit, zinc oxide on my nose sort of snorkeler. 

But once I slip into the water, I don't care what people on the boat think. Once in the water, the only sound is of my breathing through the snorkel tube. In the water, it's just me and the fish and coral. Once in the water, I'm floating on top of a world of color, drama and mystery. In the water, I'm witnessing a part of the deep beneath.

You can't sit on shore, staring at the glassy surface, and hope to know the universe beneath. You have to get into the water to experience it. You must go into the water to witness the deep beneath.

My husband of 24 years is not a snorkeler. He admits that, besides the fact that he's not a strong swimmer, he's afraid of being in the water. Fear of what's below. Fear of the deep beneath.

A lovely view, but no hint of what lies beneath

But he gamely accompanies me on my snorkeling adventures, suffering through motion sickness, popping the Dramamine. He stays in the boat while I explore. He's happy on the surface, thank you very much, and has no desire to explore the deep beneath. No desire to face this fear.

This year, while in the warm Bahamian waters around Nassau, my nine-year-old daughter decided that she would snorkel too. "I want to go with you mama," she said. She donned the mask and flippers and slipped right into the cool water.

At first, she was afraid. She held my hand tightly as we flippered ourselves away from the boat and out into the open water.

But then her grip loosened. I turned to look at her. I was rewarded with seeing the biggest smile I think I've ever seen on a person. Her eyes were wide and sparkling with wonder. She pulled her vision away from the purple and pink corals long enough to look into my eyes and give me a thumbs up.

We held hands and happily swam together that day, enjoying a moment of wonder. It was the single happiest hour of my life.

You see, it's not only that I got to show my daughter the wonders of at least one, small tiny piece of ocean. And it's not just that we experienced it together. No, my real joy was in the fact that she chose to explore the deep beneath rather than sit in the boat, viewing only the surface. Despite her fear, she jumped in anyway.

I've spent much of my life avoiding the deep beneath of things - avoiding because of fear.

But the more I explore the mysteries, the more free I feel. Free to try new things. Free, also, to say no to something that truly doesn't interest me. Free to know the difference between "not interested" and "no, because I'm afraid."

Writing fiction is an exploration of the deep beneath (if a writer allows it, that is). It's an excavation of the inner deep. A search for the truth within. When entering that place, one must not cave into fear. It takes a certain amount of courage to see the "truth" of the inner house.

Right now I'm working on Book 2 of the Akasha Chronicles. It will be titled "Emily's Trial." In it, Emily and her friends must face their fears head on when they go to a world where fears and nightmares become real.

I've got the draft written and feel okay with what has happened on the page so far. But I'm not satisfied. Perhaps I've stayed on the surface with it? Maybe I held back from going there - going to the deep beneath of fear.

As I thought about snorkeling and my nine-year-old daughter facing her fear, it inspired me. If she can jump, maybe I can too. 

It takes courage to explore the deep beneath.

Will you stay on the shore? Or will you jump into the black waters?

Manic Monday: Can Fun Conquer Fear?

Joe Burbank, Orlando Sentinel

My nine-year-old daughter has two major fears: Flying in airplanes and being on boats. The fear of flying is so great in her, she trembles during takeoff, her face ashen with fear. She's a trooper and rises to the challenge, but it terrifies her so much that this year we thought "road trip." Sort of a "Griswold" family vacation, driving to California and seeing some of America's wonders. Not the thrilling adventure that I tend to enjoy, but hey, these are the types of sacrifices we make for our kids.

People who see my daughter and I together call her a "Mini Me." We look a lot a like and have many things in common. But I'm an adventurous person at heart. I'm no dare devil, but I tend to be more on the risk taking side of things. Summer vacation, to me, is foremost an opportunity to see new things. Go places I've never been. The more exotic the better. Oh, and if you can throw in warm water for snorkeling and white sand, I'm there.

I remember the first time I flew and remember loving it. The thrill of the take off - my heart pounding and the excitement of seeing the big old Earth become so wee that you can't even make out houses or cars or even skyscrapers. I still enjoy takeoff and would love flying still if it weren't for the fact that airport security, wait times, scanners and surliness have made flying pretty much suck.

But alas my "Mini Me" hates heights, is terrified of take off, and would rather ride in her van for 14 hours with her parents than get in a plane. 

So it was to my utmost surprise when she said she wanted to go on a Disney Cruise this summer.

"You want to ride for days on a boat?!"

She looked it up on the Internet. She pointed to the commercials on T.V.

"You do realize we would have to fly for a long time just to get to Florida then get on a boat where you'll be for days?"

"That's true," she said with a look of disappointment and worry shadowing her face.

I could see the desire. A mad desire welling in her like I've not seen except for in the month of December when she's beside herself with anticipation for her favorite day of the year.

"Why do you want to go?"

"I don't know mom. It's just calling to me. I feel like I'm meant to go."

Magical words to a mom who believes in fate and serendipity. How can I deny her opportunity to meet up with destiny?

We watched videos about cruising. Read the brochures. Talked about what it would be like. A few days later she said,

"I can do this."

"You want to go?"

"I want to go so bad I'm even willing to fly!"

I saw the steely determination in her eyes lit with the joy of expectation. The call of adventure has lit a fire in her. The desire for fun, overcoming the obstacle of her fear.

Bon Voyage my little one.

Have you ever overcome a fear? How did you do it? Are there any fears that you have that paralyze you or prevent you from doing something that you want to do?


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Manic Monday: Wag More

On this Monday, last one in January, 2012, I feel bogged down with more work than I think I can do. I'm editing two different novels right now, the day job, marketing and social media - oh, and raising my daughter and taking care of a household. You know - the usual.

The bright desert sun outside beckons me to play but a Midwestern work ethic nudges me to stay in, chained to the office chair. As I look at the pile of receipts and paperwork on my desk reminding me that tax season is upon me, I begin to feel overwhelmed.

Can you relate?

And yet I know this to be true:

It's the journey, not the destination. And the journey includes paperwork and jobs and to-do lists and bills to pay and kids and pets and family that need our attention even when we're a little too tired to give it.

The good, the bad. The beautiful and the ugly. The profound and the mundane. The pizza and the beer.

Okay, pizza and beer aren't opposites, but they sure do sound good right now.

Anyway, you get the picture. We all know this. But for me at least, it can't be repeated enough because it is so easy to allow the disturbances of our day detour us away from the joy of our time here. No matter how long you live, the journey here is brief. And oh, so wonderful - even when you wish you could drive a tank through rush-hour traffic.

Enjoy the journey.

So what, you are asking, is up with the video of your dog up there?

That's my dog Molly. She's going to be 14 this year. I got her from my local Humane Society shelter when she was a pup. Molly is pure joy covered in fur.

This video is me trying to capture one of those things in my life that reminds me daily how good it is to be alive.

Molly will wag just because I look at her. I look away and she stops wagging. I turn back to face her and she wags again.

All I have to do is look at her to make her happy. No dog treats were eaten in the filming of this video! I have no food out for her; no promise of yummies.

Just seeing my face makes her happy.

Isn't that an amazing gift for me.

I have someone in my life for whom the mere sight of me makes her happy.

Maybe we should all be more like Molly with each other. Maybe if we smiled at the mere sight of our loved ones, they would be happier. And we'd be happier because we were smiling. And they'd be happier because we were smiling at them. Wags all around.

I'm smiling at you right now : D

Do you have a special critter in your life that makes your day brighter, your face happier? Or a special person that always manages to bring out the best in you? 

I love comments and to hear your stories. And to spread the joy your comments bring, everyone who leaves a comment on a post from now through February 29 will be entered for a chance to win a signed copy of my novel, Emily's House. And for every 100 comments in that time, I'll offer another book. So spread the word, leave your comments and make me give away my books for free!!