What Does a Message from God Look Like?

I don't know about you, but when I ask for guidance from the Divine I don't get bolts of lightning or flaming flora. Sometimes I ask for help. Which way do I turn? What's the path I should take?
It sure would be nice if I got clearcut answers. Should I eat a third donut? CRACK! Lightening bolt comes down from above and lands in the middle of the donut, incinerating it. That would be a clear answer.
Over the years I've consulted my astrological chart, read the Tarot cards and otherwise looked for signs to guide me in life. But as fun as these divination tools are, they are faulty. You may look at your astrological chart this week and think it's right on the money only to find next week, when you look back, that the stars got it all wrong. If these tools are channeling Divine wisdom, then is the Divine unreliable? Or are we, as the interpreters unable to see the answers clearly? Or perhaps these tools don't speak for the divine at all.
In recent years I have found a way to consistently get helpful guidance from the Divine, guidance that has led me down a path of great happiness.
What is it?
The method is simple. I pay attention to how I feel. I notice how it feels to be in the situation I'm in. I pay attention to how it feels to be with a certain person or group of people. I pay attention to how it feels to be in a certain environment or to do a certain job.
How you feel matters.  Life is short. Life is meant to feel good.
Follow the feel good feelings. If the person you're with feels good to you, then be with them. If being with that person always makes you feel bad or negative, then maybe it's time to move on.
I'm not the first person to figure this out and it's certainly not a unique thought. But I wanted to pass along to you my experience with it because it has been so life-changing for me.
Case in point:
While an undergraduate I had the brilliant idea that I should go to law school. I had been told by some people that I'd make a good lawyer (following guidance from somewhere outside of me rather than internal guidance) and so I applied and off I went.
From day one, I didn't like law school. I don't think I liked anything about it much (except for those few people who became cherished friends). From day one it was hard. And I don't mean just academically challenging (which it was). I had studied hard before and had taken subjects that were a challenge.
What I mean is that I found the whole experience of law school hard. The people didn't feel right (except for a few who became lifelong friends). The subject matter felt wrong. The whole experience just felt - off.
If I knew then what I know now, I would have recognized that "off" feeling as guidance. Through my feelings, the Divine was telling me "this isn't your path."
But I didn't listen.
The truth is, I ignored how I felt because I didn't want to be a quitter.
I began practicing law and I didn't care for that either. There I was, three years of graduate education and a large student loan debt to repay and I didn't like my chosen profession.  Oh, I rose to the occasion and found that I was reasonably good at it. But I didn't feel well. My stomach hurt. I felt nauseous. I began getting sick a lot.
I did this for many years. Plugging away, trying to find ways to make it feel better to me.
And here's the other thing - the thing that plays such an important role in this notion of guidance. Every thing I tried to do or accomplish as a lawyer was hard. If I tried to add a new practice area or teach a class, it was like running my head into a large brick wall, over and over and over. My head hurt from all the ramming it into hard objects but I'd get up, dust myself off and run at that wall again!  My motto was "I won't be defeated!"
But the truth is, sometimes giving into "defeat" is okay. Sometimes, when your head hurts from ramming it into the immovable wall, it's a signal that you need to stop running into that wall!
I'm slow on the uptake but eventually I got the clue. I needed to choose a new path.  A path that is more me. A path that doesn't make my stomach hurt and give me a veritable concussion.
I began writing fiction in 2008, my lifelong dream, and I can tell you that my path to becoming a writer feels so different than the law path. And that feeling confirms I'm on the right path. And by "right" I don't mean financial success or accolades and such.  "Right" means that it feels good to do it. It feels "right".
Every step of the way to becoming a published author, there have been helpful people that show up at the right time. Doors open easily (without me having to use a hatchet to get them open!). Divine timing is everywhere (for an example, see my post How I Used Real Magic to Win a Trip to Ireland).
Here's a latest example of what I'm talking about. I want to have a launch party for the launch of Emily's House, my first novel. But researching venues, the prices are just so high, I started to think it was an impossible idea. So I asked the Divine for guidance. Within a half an hour of me thinking the thought (please help me!), I got a call about a venue that I was told was impossible to get and it just so happens that they only have one spot the entire rest of the year.  And it just so happens to be the exact day and time I wanted! And the price is ridiculously reasonable (within my writer budget).  Booked. Easy.
When I ask for guidance I always get it, so long as I'm open to receiving it. No lightning bolts required.

What about you? Do you ask God or the Divine or your own spiritual guide for guidance to help you through life? If so, do you get answers? And in what form do you receive the guidance?

A Big Booo to Publishers that Don't Allow Sharing of E-Books

How many times have you borrowed a book from a friend?  Loaned a book to a friend?  A friend recommends a book to you, loans you their copy, you read it and return it and usually end up in a discussion about it.  If you loved it, you then recommend it to other people.  If you really loved it, you may go buy a copy because you just have to have it.  And then you may end up loaning it to a friend and so on.


If you buy a paper copy of a book, you have the right to loan away.  And book loaning is good for the publisher (and author and everyone else in the book selling food chain).  Why?  Because word of mouth is what sells books and the circle of loaning spreads the word just about faster than anything.  Book sharing is free advertising of the book and author.


Recently I heard buzz about the book Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern.  It sounded intriguing so I went to my local library web page and put a hold on it.  I was number 97 out of something like 10 copies.  Wow, I'm going to wait a long time.



So I mentioned it to a friend and it turns out that she had just purchased it for her Kindle.  "Cool," I said.  "Could you loan it to me when you're done?"
"Sure," she said.
But she can't.  Why?  Because each publisher can choose to make the electronic version of their book loanable or not.  The publisher of Night Circus chose 'no sharing' (this book is published by Doubleday and sold by Random House Digital).
This burns my biscuits.  My friend paid $12.99 for the Kindle version of this book.  You can get the hardcover version, new, for $9.99!  The Kindle version costs more than a paper version yet it has less value because it can't be loaned or shared.


Authors should be steamed with their publishing houses for this.  Sharing books NEVER hurts sales. Should we do away with libraries in order to bolster sales of print versions of books?  Neil Gaiman has stated his belief that book piracy has  increased his sales.  In this video he talks about how sharing books actually increases sales.





I've moved up to #94 on the wait list for The Night Circus.  One day I'll get to read it . . .


What do you think?  Is there a legitimate reason that publishers won't allow sharing of e-books?
Are there other e-books that you have tried to share but it has been disallowed by the publisher?

Drawing Characters can help a Writer Get to Know Them

Writers have various ways to get to 'know' their characters.  For me, I like to do a Q & A with my characters.  I'm like a reporter or talk-show host and I ask them questions and they answer.  This helps me get inside the 'head' of the character.

But when it comes to physical description, I have found it hard at times to physically describe a person (or entity) that doesn't really exist.  Because I'm a visual person, I find that drawing the character can help me get a better handle on physical description, especially for non-human characters.  Here a few that I've done.

For 'Emily's House', a character you'll meet early on is Hindergog.  He's not human though he can speak and he wears clothes.  Early on in the writing of that manuscript, I had to draw Hindergog to get a visual on him.

Hindergog

That's the first drawing I did of Hindergog.  I liked the eyes and the nose is just about right, but I wasn't sure about the fangs.  This is my second drawing, done about a year later.

I liked the ears better in the second one but I still like the eyes best from the first one.  Both helped me to really see Hindergog and I think that helped my description of him.

Lately I'm working on the manuscript for 'H.A.L.F.' (which is an acronym for 'Human Alien Life Form').  Because one of the main characters, Tex, is an alien-human hybrid, I wanted to get a handle on what that mash-up looks like.  I started with drawing first a 'grey' alien based on the 'alien autopsy' photos on the internet.

Drawing of a 'Grey'

This isn't great, but you get the idea.  Greys are often depicted with super-bulbous heads (some speculate because they have an extra lobe in their brain).  They are described as having very small mouth openings and small noses.  

What happens when you morph a grey with a young human male?  Here's my rendition:

'Tex', a H.A.L.F.

When I morphed them, the head is human just more bulbous.  He has ears while the alien does not.  His nose is more prominent.  His mouth is still small but slightly larger.  One of the things that came from this exercise is that Tex has a more human chin and jawline, not quite so angular - more square.

But the eyes are the same overly large, dark eyes.  This is a prominent feature of Tex and has impact on the storyline.

Do you find the last one, the drawing of Tex, unnerving?  He's hanging up in my office now on my bulletin board and I have to say, I find him a bit scary!  When I catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye he sort of freaks me out!

If you're a writer, do you ever draw your characters?

The Ball is Rolling Now

I can't believe the day is finally here, but I will be sending the Emily's House manuscript off to the book designer and the formatter by the end of the week.  The story is complete - last edits done.  Right now I'm working on those little details like the Acknowledgments page and author bio.

So it has been a long haul from the seed of an idea back in 2007 to the first tentative words plucked out on the word processor in 2008 to a finished manuscript.

What a long strange trip its been!

I pulled the excerpt that I had posted online here because I had changed it so much, the post was irrelevant.  I've decided to put up the prologue only at this time.

In other news, my friend Mark Corneliussen, photographer and video editor, has graciously volunteered to put together the book trailer.  I'm very excited to see how Mark takes my own vision of the story, layered with the musical vision of the story created by my wonderful friend and musician/composer extraordinaire, Jill Robinson of Jill Robinson Music, and adds his own touch to come up with two minutes that sums it up.  I'll post more about that as the project progresses.

Stay tuned.

Follow Up to Bullying Post

A friend of mine posted this to her Facebook page today and I thought it was ironic that it showed up on my wall the day after my post "What is Bullying Anyway?" about whether being excluded is bullying.

R2-D2 Does Double Duty as a Hairdryer

Perfect, n'est-ce pa?  Thanks to Michelle Ansley Freno for passing this along.

Less than 25 words and a picture to say it like it is.

What is Bullying Anyway?

School districts across the country are struggling with how to stop bullying in the wake of the teens who have committed suicide after being bullied.  My daughter’s school district has undertaken that task and this year sent home information specific to bullying.  They are taking it seriously, as they should, and I applaud the school for adopting a zero tolerance of bullying. 

But the new policy sent home with my third grader made me question:  What is bullying anyway?

For me the classic image of the school bully is the kid that pushes other kids around whether by physical intimidation or verbal threats or insults.  The bully isn’t always the largest kid in the class, but the bully is someone who gets their way through threats, intimidation and fear.

That’s what I thought bullying was.

Here’s what my daughter’s school sent home about bullying:

“Students who name call, exclude others, tease, and/or become physical towards another student will be written up and [the Principal] will review the situation.”  (emphasis added)

It’s that word “exclude” that caught my attention.  At first blush you may say of course, excluding is wrong and can lead to hurt feelings so we should ban it.  But here’s my question:  Are hurt feelings or feelings of being left out the same as bullying?

Please understand that I’m not insensitive to hurt feelings.  I was a geeky nerd kid with red hair – I experienced a lot of hurt feelings in my childhood.  But was it bullying for a particular girl clique that I wanted to be a part of to say “we don’t want to play with you?”

Kids, especially very young children, have virtually no choices in life.  Their parents and their school decide just about everything for them.  Even for teenagers there is a lack of freedom.  Should kids be free to choose who they play with on the playground and who they eat lunch with and who they hang out with?

Or am I being naïve?  With the advent of social media, I know that things have changed for kids and now bullies, especially girl bullies, have the entire Internet and social media web to use for their bullying.  Have things changed so much that we must quash freedom of choice in who we spend our time with in order to protect kids from hurt that can lead to emotional problems and suicide?

Here’s how the Oxford American Dictionary, 2010, defines “bully:”

n. A person who frightens or persecutes weaker people

          v. Frighten or persecute a weaker person

Synonyms are:  persecutor, oppressor, tyrant, tormentor, intimidator, thug

This definition fits with how I’ve always defined a bully.  When you imagine a bully, do these words fit your image?

I’ve been a divorce lawyer and mediator for sixteen years and unfortunately my work has brought me into contact with domestic violence issues.  Domestic abusers are bullies.  Whether the abuser is a man or woman (yes, women sometimes are the abusers though not as often as men), they use their fists or their words (usually both) to intimidate and oppress.  Put downs and insults are the abuser’s daily bread and butter, used to weaken the other person’s self-esteem and resolve.  The physical violence seals the deal so to speak and shows the other person “see, I’m stronger than you and I can get and do what I want.”

It is my belief that bullies are made in their homes where they likely observe bullying behavior by one or both parents.  The bully then hones their craft on the playground, in the lunchroom, and in the corridors of the school.  By the time the bully reaches high school, he or she has likely been bullying since pre-school and knows how to work the system to their favor.  In fact, I can foresee the bully using the “no exclusion” policy to bully someone into playing with them so they can bully them some more!

Bullying is very serious.  My concern is that if we water down and broaden the definition too much it will become meaningless.  Getting your feelings hurt because you didn’t get invited to a party sucks and dealing with mean girls can leave a scar.  But when someone engages in a campaign of constant insults, put downs, threats, and/or verbal or physical intimidation is different.  The latter is bullying. Is the former bullying?

It’s no fun to be excluded by the bitchy, mean, exclusive girls.  But are mean girls automatically bullies?  Is it their exclusion that’s the problem?  Or how they go about it?

Lets get some conversation going about this important topic.  What do you think?

Is excluding bullying?  Has bullying changed?  Do we need to broaden the definition to encompass new forms of bullying?

Have you been bullied in your life?  How do you define bullying?

If you’re still in school, do you agree with the new policies on bullying?  Do you think bullying is a problem and if so, how do we fix it?

Why This Writer Won't Deliver Four to Six e-Books a Year to the Reader

Creating a novel is a long,
winding road

As e-books flourish, self-publishing is exploding and some writers are pumping out a new e-book ever 2-3 months (some even faster).  I’m going to tell you why you’ll probably never see me deliver 4-6 books to the reader in a year.

My brain works on what I call the “Saturate and Distill” method.  Maybe all the beer I drank in college influenced my brain cells to act like a liquor still or maybe I was just "Born this Way."

But for whatever reason, I take in loads of information, then let it tumble around inside my head for a while. When the info is sufficiently distilled, I get inspired and puke up stuff onto the page.  In this stage I’m working fast and furious, trying to get it all down.  I try not to think or second-guess or question myself.  I try to shut my conscious self down and allow all that stuff I learned to mix with my own life experiences, the collective unconscious, my own unconscious self and maybe even what some call divine inspiration.  Mix well and out comes a story.

In the first go round I’m just looking to get a beginning middle and end.  A lot of what happens in this first draft will be cut. Some of it is dialogue that I, the writer, need to hear but you, the reader, would get bored and thrown off track if I leave it in.  Or maybe its just wrong turns the characters take.  That’s cool, the characters need to figure out who they are and what they’re about.  But you, the reader, don’t want to read what sometimes reads back like someone’s diary.

The first draft, the beautiful period of imagination and discovery, is only the beginning.  Some writers have said that the first draft is about figuring out what the book is about.  You write a first draft, put it away for a while, then pull it out and read it through.  And hopefully you have that “Aha” moment when you say, “So that’s what it’s all about!”

Cover art for "Emily's House"
Coming Late Fall, 2011

I have re-worked, revised and re-written “Emily’s House” for a year now!  Granted, it’s my first novel and since I didn’t have much of a clue what I was doing when I started, my editing process was at times a re-write process.

But man, what a difference it makes.  The “Emily’s House” I just turned over to the editor bears little resemblance to the “Emily’s House” it was last August at the end of the first draft phase.

The other reason that I’m not going to promise readers a new book every three months is because my books tend to require a lot of research.  Why?

Because I create new takes on existing mythologies.  In “Emily’s House,” my starting point was pre-Christian Celtic mythology.  But my early research revealed the tantalizing fact that the Celts originated east of modern-day Europe and they were influenced by Vedic traditions out of India.

Add a little Celtic mythology with some Buddhist philosophy, stir in some Vedic thought, and voila!  A new mythology is born, one that feels familiar but is not exactly like anything else.

Screech!  This past week I’m like a car factory re-tooling for a new model.  My brain has to dump faeries and torcs and enchanted wells and particle colliders.  Now I’m streaming “Ancient Aliens” on Netflix and reading about the 1947 crash in Roswell and about alien abductions.  I’m filling up on alien mythology now as my brain sifts and filters and distills it, creating its own alien mythology.

In my current work in progress, “H.A.L.F.”, the main character Erika Holt will meet up with Tex, an alien-human hybrid who is traipsing through the desert trying to escape from the U.S. government facility where he was created.  What starts as Friday night good times in the desert for Erika and her friends, Ian and Kyle, ends up being a nightmare of three teens and a hybrid against the might of the U.S. government.

I’m a huge sci-fi fan and thought I already knew a lot about alien mythology.  I was wrong.  As I began reading articles and books, I realized there was a whole lot more to the alien mythology than I realized.  Then I began watching episode after episode of “Ancient Aliens” streaming on Netflix and I realized that not only must Giorgio Tsoukalos be an alien because there’s no other explanation for how he can get his hair to do that, but that this alien mythology thing is expanding so much, it is in fact replacing Judeo-Christian religion for a lot of people.  Ancient alien theorists have replaced God the Creator with Alien the Creator.  This is BIG mythology being made right now, today.

What is coming out of this research are twists and turns I didn’t initially see coming for “H.A.L.F.”  And what started out as one book I now see as three because the alien mythology and government conspiracy theory are just too big – and too much fun – for only one book!

Time to get back to writing.  I’m excited to get “H.A.L.F.” into your hands so you can meet Erika and Tex and their nemesis, Commander Sturgis, a bad-ass military scientist with a chip on her shoulder and something to prove.

Have you had an encounter with a UFO?  Anything strange ever happen to you that you can’t explain? 

And if you haven’t had an encounter but enjoy alien sci-fi stories and movies, why do you think we can’t get enough of aliens?